“What, could ye not watch with me one hour?”
The words were spoken by the Savior
in what James E. Talmage called “the hour of His deepest humiliation.[1]” Peter, James, and John had accompanied the Savior into the
garden of Gethsemane. He had instructed them to watch with him. Yet, as he went
and prayed and suffered, all three of them eventually fell asleep. The words
feel almost like a stinging rebuke. Here the Savior of the world was suffering
under the weight of a world of sin, and his closest friends and disciples
couldn’t even stay awake to watch.
Someone in my Relief Society made
reference to this scripture during the lesson on Sunday. In a touching way that
rang true for probably everyone, she mentioned an experience when she struggled
with listening in church, or something to that effect, and the words came to
her mind, “could ye not watch with me one hour?” It helped her realize
how little she was being asked, and how much she owed the Savior more of her attention,
focus, and love.
Without meaning to denigrate the
power or significance of heeding that plea from the Savior, I admit that in a
later conversation I had with a friend who is going through some particularly
difficult challenges that make just about every task in gospel living
difficult, I thought about the rest of the scriptural account in Matthew 26.
After finding the apostles asleep
for the third time, and knowing that the time of betrayal was near, the Lord
simply says “Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand.[2]”
Over the past couple years I have
been part of many discussions, or sat through many meetings and lessons, where
people expressed a frustration with their inability to do all that they seem
required to do. Whether it’s because of mental illnesses like depression or
anxiety, whether it’s the results of tragedies in life that bring grief and
sorrow, or whether we just seem overwhelmed by the complexities of everyday
mortal life, I have heard people ask questions or make confessions such as “how
can I motivate myself to keep going?” “I’m trying so hard, but I don’t feel
anything.” “How do I get done everything that I am supposed to?” “How can I
know that God loves me, when I make so many mistakes?” “Why can’t I do
everything that I know I’m supposed to do? I feel so incapable.”
I have more recently thought to
myself that perhaps the Creator and Savior of the world is more tender and
compassionate than we sometimes give him credit. I am slowly learning to
recognize a different, gentle, and tender voice that while strengthened in rebuke,
can also soothe, calm, and lovingly and gently persuade. To recognize that
Heavenly Father is motivated entirely by an unending love for each of us can
change our perspective of our relationship and perhaps even our communication
with Him.
It has occurred to me that while
there are so many expectations and standards and guidelines that are necessary
for us to draw closer to and become like God, it is not like He is surprised by
the moments that we fall short. It is perhaps important to recognize that the
scriptural affirmation that we will be judged on the thoughts and intents of
our hearts was spoken with the frailties, weaknesses, and disabilities of his
children in mind.
Perhaps on those days where we
struggle getting out of bed in the morning, or resisting a particularly trying
temptation or addiction, we should realize that God might be looking at us with
firmness as well as compassion. Certainly He knows when it is best to instruct
“watch with me.” He knows that His grace gives can provide us the strength to
keep moving.
But perhaps, just maybe, on those days when we are overwhelmed by our failures, He simply looks at our determined
heart and simply says “Sleep on now, and take your rest.” Because his suffering
and sacrifice are complete. Because the atoning sacrifice was carried out.
Because this was why he volunteered in the pre-mortal life. Because his “grace
is sufficient for the meek.[3]” So, sleep
on, tomorrow will come, and He will not abandon those who love and desire to
serve him, despite the weaknesses of the flesh. It was well he said to those
apostles, “The Spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
After suffering and wholly and
completely understanding and experiencing the pains, weaknesses, sickness,
temptations, and sins of the world, I suppose it is His right to say at those
moments when all else fails: "To this end was I born…[4]" “Behold the
sufferings and death of him who did no sin.[5]” “Sleep on and take your rest.”
Nothing in the Savior’s sacrifice
eliminates our personal responsibility or our need to keep going, to not give
up, and to give everything that we have to listen, learn, and obey. But instead
of damning ourselves by our inabilities, I hope we will look to the Savior and
call upon His name and recognize with gratitude that his suffering and death
was completed for our redemption. He will not fall asleep on the watch that we
at times fail to keep. He will never leave us. He loves us. And because of that
love, we never have to give up. We never have to walk alone.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour
and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.[6]”
At times, when everything we have to
give is just not enough to keep moving, perhaps the Savior’s grace is enough.
“Sleep on now, and take your rest: Behold, the hour is at hand.”
[1] Talmage,
James E. (1915) Jesus the Christ. https://www.lds.org/manual/jesus-the-christ?lang=eng
[2] Matthew
26:38-45, King James Version
[3] Ether
12:26, Book of Mormon
[4] John 18:37, King James Version
[5] Doctrine and Covenants 45:2
[6] Matthew 11: 28, King James Version
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