Simply and Satirically Me

The young man and his girlfriend had lived together for 8 years. They’d had a daughter together. Both their paychecks went towards sustaining their small home. And they wanted to be baptized. Normally, it would seem rational to tell them to stop living together so they could get baptized. But this was a family. And that’s not how things worked. While separation still an acceptable solution, we were instead encouraged to have them get married before baptism. Why? Because a temporary separation just for the benefits of baptism was no security that they wouldn’t end up living together again—this time breaking sacred covenants. It was strongly urged, then, that they wait for marriage before getting baptized. The waiting process in Brazil is long. And sometimes, one couple or the other also has to  go through a complicated legal process of divorce from a previous partner. But, we tell them, it’s better to wait. The church has never been interested in a numerical manifestation of c...

It needs to be explained clearly, because no one is doing it. Conservatives, right-wingers, Christians, or any other advocate of traditional notions of morality seen as out of date or “on the wrong side of history” are becoming apologetics. And the irony is that it’s because they are actually much more tolerant, open-minded, and even scared than their political and social opponents. Instead, they are fighting in an arena regulated by a liberal agenda that couldn’t be called progressive any more than those of us still holding out for Social Security. The way it works is simple. If you don’t play by their rules, you’re a bigot. So of course you play by their rules—one of which requires that everyone who disagrees loses. Heads you lose, tails I win. That’s politics and there is no God, so why are you complaining, bigot? Well, that’s simple. Because any policy of government that mandates the universality of thought is already growing into a repressive arm of tyranny th...

It began with children. 15 children. They painted anti-government graffiti on the school walls. Then, they were arrested. Some said they were tortured. Riots began. After parents tried to secure their release, CNN reported this response from a local official "Forget your children. If you really want your children, you should make more children. If you don't  know  how to make more children, we'll show you how to do it." That was in 2011. And most people don’t remember it. Or don’t know about it. I only know because I was working on a case study of Syria at the time. I told my brother I was trying to figure out why Syria was lagging behind in the Arab Spring. I told him I suspected it had to do with a lack of international intervention. I found that conversation in an old google chat from March 2012. Not much has changed.  That is, on the international stage.  But in Syria, over 4 years of conflict has brought reports of 7.6 million displaced refugees...

It’s been called a victory for America. Pardon me, Mr. President, for not understanding that statement. We are not talking about the moral essence of same-sex marriage. We are not talking about love or the true definition of marriage. We are talking about power. The central question of all political science—who rules? We are talking about law. The interpretation of already existent law. The idea behind the power of the Supreme Court’s ability to declare a law unconstitutional is ironically accepted based purely on the precedence that President Thomas Jefferson upheld a court’s declaration on unconstitutionality in the Marbury v Madison case of 1803. We don’t question this power because the precedence has allowed the Court to act as judges and sentinels of the Constitution, protecting the passages created by the founders and amended by the people. The idea is that no one should be allowed to twist or misapply established laws in accordance with a political agenda that cha...

The rickety old bus bumped and tumbled its way down the winding roads, drifting between pavement and dirt roads alike. The sun beat down brutally through the dusty windows, making the often crowded environment even less appealing. The hot, uncomfortable blue seats were scarce. The majority of us stood holding onto various, oddly intertwining metals bars that somehow kept everything together. This was travel in Brazil. It was one of those hard weeks. When you find yourself questioning once again what you are doing, why you decided to come, and why you haven’t gone home yet. Sometimes, life just doesn’t seem worth the effort we put into it. It was that kind of day. The sort where you feel a little like you are banging your head against a brick wall in a maze without an exit. But I was saved by a distraction. The bus had been rolling on, passing by what looked more like a makeshift bus stop, when suddenly the motorista (bus driver) slammed on the breaks. I looked out the window t...

I had an experience as a missionary in Brasil that might not seem related at all to the Ordain Women Movement, but if you humor me for a moment, I think it will help explain my current understanding of the situation. One night, the four of us sisters in our area returned after dark to our apartment building. We noticed that every single light was out in the building. The one Brazilian among us noted quickly that it must have meant the power was out. Sure enough, when we got in and tried a couple lights, we confirmed the power outage. Now brasilian electricity does not affect the water or oven. So we decided to try and do our best to accomplish our evening tasks without light. One took a shower. Another began making food. I began washing the dishes to a small flashlight I had taken from one of my bags. We adjusted to this new life of darkness for some time.  Finally, my companion entered the kitchen intent on looking in the fridge, probably to see what food might go bad...